My stomach hurts

I just hopped into a very small elevator at my work. It just holds four people. I am slightly delirious from working too much and hard and also drinking too much booze last night.
Another three people were in the elevator. One man nervously said to me,
"I'm one hundred kilos" and then pointed at me obviously intending to see how heavy I was so as to calculate the likely hood of us plummeting to our death. I somehow misheard him and simply answered "Greg"
I realized when he looked at me funny he hadn't in fact asked my name. Everyone in the lift looked at me strangely. In my hungover daze I began laughing hysterically. I laughed so much tears came to my eyes and I got a sore stomach. The people in the elevator got out before me. I know they work here, but on a different floor and I have never spoken to them before.
They probably think I'm crazy now. I bet the first guy is writing a blog right now that goes: I asked a guy his weight in an elevator. He answered "Greg" and then started laughing hysterically. What a crack job.
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A JOKE


A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.


After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.


Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!'


The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.


The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, 'Take another drink! Take another drink!!' The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.


By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.


The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender says,
'He should've quit while he was a head'