Shellac, Lightning Bolt etc.

I went to a halloween gig last night consisting of a few bands and some djs and stuff. It was at the forum in London on a thursday and I was looking forward to it quite a lot. Myself and Lyn finished up work at 6 and went to the venue straight away because Lightning Bolt were playing at 6.30. This was somewhat annoying because they were the ones I really wanted to see, but I guess because they refuse to play on the stage and just play in the middle of the audience it was probably easier to have them first before the venue filled up. Anyway, this was a good start. A wall of distortion and drums and happy noises and somehow cute and cheerful but aggressive sound explosions of goodness. I particularly liked the slower noise making better, but the faster songs were surprisingly giggly. Overall I liked the fact that they didn't seem like a band of chin stroking seriousness, which can be the case if you have two fellas making noise type experimentalish rock.
One thing though: As they seemed to play out of their own Pa the sound just wasn't loud enough for such a large venue. It was ok for us because we went on the thursday so it wasn't busy and you could get nice and close, but I can only imagine on the friday it would have been frustrating not being able to get close enough to the speakers. I don't think Lightning Bolt suited the venue at all either. They really needed a dark sweaty basement with a low roof. Still orsum though.
They also reminded me of the droog band a bit which I liked.
Next up is a band called Pissed Jeans. Pissed Jeans were shit. The lead singer looked like he worked in a call centre in insurance or IT or something, which I guess was their wacky modus operandi cause you know its funny seeing a straight laced person sticking their finger up their bum and gyrating their hips. Only problem with this is he looked fucking uncomfortable doing all this stuff, like he was an actual IT/insurance guy (which I later found out he is) I can't explain it any better than it would be like Clark Kent changing into Superman and still having all Clark Kents mannerisms and really dumbed down and shit Superman mannerisms. They also sounded like any other fucking crap punk band. Their lyrics are supposed to be biting and sartirical. I didn't notice. I just thought they sounded shit. The drummer was good though, and young people seemed to like jumping up and down and bashing themselves into each other and walls to it.
Next was Wooden Shjips. These guys had beards like ZZ top and clothes like a American survivalist. I really liked them. They made me smile a lot with their kind minimalish, hypnotic, repetitive, surf music. They looked like they smoked heaps of weed, and I couldn't help feel that they kinda just kept things looping along because they were forgetting chord changes etc or just wanted to do them in their own time. It is strangely accessible music and it made me have a large grin for the duration.
Next on the agenda was Les Savy Fav. The best thing I could muster about them was their music was harmless. I don't think thats a good thing to say about music. The lead singer tried to make up for it by running around the audience and flashing his belly, and in that way I guess he got the crowd worked up a bit.....but the music was just so........harmless. Like a really inoffensive dog, thats neither cute enough to pat or ugly enough to take note of.
I had high hopes for Shellac. They weren't met in anyway. From what people had told me they were awesome live. I thought they sounded amazing in terms of actual sound production ie its seemed obvious that the Pa etc for the night had been tailored for them, but I just found there music pretty boring. Maybe its my fault because I don't know enough about rock, but, to my ears, the songs themselves sounded like 300 other bands I had already heard. I guess maybe they are just not my type of music. I gave up 3/4 of the way through and went and stood outside in the cold and smoked and talked to a guy who was wearing a labrador cross as a scarf. It was awesome. The dog just sat there. (it wasn't dead) He didn't even have to hold it on. I was slightly jealous. One disadvantage was the bouncers wouldn't let him into the gig though.
Om were on after Shellac, and I found them terribly boring. The singer/guitarist looked a lot like this guy Ben Comry I went to school with and seemed to behave exactly the same as my fourteen year old memories of him as well. They were pretty drab (not drab in a "this music is so drab it makes me wanna cut myself" way either just drab......kinda like off brown curtains) and pretty boring. We left then.
That was about the night. Also of note was that Andy Weatherall of two lone swordsman fame was djing in between acts, but considering his considerable talent as a dj it was a disappointment. He really was just a juke box. I would have liked to see him play some more challenging music and maybe play for longer at the end.
I enjoyed the night despite being less than enthused with any of the later acts. It is good having a variation of stuff on(although I thought they could have taken that further) and I never got bored.
Lightning Bolt was ace, and now I can't stop listening to them.

Overdeveloped sense of vengence.

At what point do you start running your emotions like a communist state instead of a democracy? I have been ponderising the hell out of this lately. The inner struggle of doing what is right by everybody else and what is right by you. Sometimes if you try to please everybody all of the time it leads to a SUPERMASSIVE melt down of mega proportions.
The same is true of the other way around.
In other news. I really like the title of this post. It has nothing to do with the above. It was on an episode of fonejacker I watched, and I laughed one hell of a lot and quite loudly as well. I want to write a Charles Bronson style revenge movie back of DVD cover blurb using that turn of phrase. So I will.

Steve Grittycops family is mildly offended by some guy on the street. Steve makes the decision to kill him so hard that the mildly offensive mans parents, friends, friends kids, future kids they might have, people they know and family doctor all die too. Steve Grittycops has an Overdeveloped Sense of Vengence.

I think...

Paul Thomas Anderson is set to become one of the greatest American directors ever. Big claim, but he is still so young, and makes films well beyond his years. In 40 years times I'll say I told you so.

While I'm on the subject of cunts.

Youtube recommended this to me as something I might watch. Ha. Here are some of the best comments from the comments section.

Looks god!

lol looks stupid but...eh maybe still watchable
why Dragonfly? xD

I love it when he breakdances on the side of the building! Can't wait 2 see it on the big screen, or at least in my living room!

break dancing on da wall!

I love the part when he get's hit by da bus three times and when he break dances on da wall.

I love when he keeps getting hit by the bus!!
Yeah cause thats funny you fucking muppets. If you love watching people get hit by stuff and dancing wacky so much watch Americas Funniest Home Movies. In fact I wonder if I made a movie version of that if these idiots would go to it. Probably. Judging by their use of youth urban slang I'd probably have to make it slightly more street though. Americaz Dopest Crib Movies? Sounds like baby porn to me.

is this basically a spoof of spiderman but a comedy?
This person is so sharp they should become a cop or a PI, or maybe the President of the US (Oh look obvious political humor! I should write one of these movies!).........I feel dirty.

This might be funny. It only seems to make fun of spiderman and there are no pop culture jokes maybe they finally listened to my letters.
This one makes me all sorts of puzzled. Someone actually went to the effort to write to the people that make these movies with some creative input. And more than once! What?

wow when i heard of the movie i didnt think it would be that good but after the preview im going to see it right when it comes out
You're an idiot. A preview is supposed to be full of the best bits to make you want to see the movie, and as far as I can see there are no best bits in that preview.

dang this is funny! im gonna watch this!
Dang? I would take their word for it that its funny, but they probably also find shooting wreaked cars with AK47s and gang rape on city folk amusing.


it looks better than meet the spartans
Way to go. It looks funnier than one of the worst movies of all time. Thats a hella recommendation.


Just try to breathe.
I can't, you're nailing on my crotch!
LOL
What this guy is doing here is, saying a line from the movie and then adding LOL after. This shows us that he thinks its funny.

its like spiderman
Another brilliant observation

i wanna see this cause ive
seen all tha scary movies and i ve seen epic movie and ive seen date movie
they all fucking rule i really wanna see meet tha spartans but and dis
I don't know how anyone can think any of these movies 'Rule'
Why do people find these films funny. Taking a succesful movie, and then remaking it shot for shot but worse, isn't funny.
Why is remaking Spiderman funny?
I don't understand.

IMDB. The D should be for Dumarse

Examples of reviews found on this garbage dump of crap opinions.

MAX PAYNE
Max Payne was a very slow moving movie for the first part of the movie. The reason why it was slow though is because it was explaining the story of the movie. The story was very good and kept going with it all the way until the very end. The last half of the movie really kicks it up and has a ton of action. I liked all of the special and visual effects. Their were many slow motion scenes that made the movie cool. The visuals were very good and many of them were shots of tall long buildings. Mark Whalberg was very good and did a stellar job as Max Payne. Mila Kunis was good as t they can use to showcase their style of film making.

THE BIG LEBOWSKI
This movie was a confusing, mixed-up mess that took a while to piece back together in the end, as well as leaving a few plot holes behind. Like what happened to the guys in the beginning that threw Jeff into the toilet, demanding his money? And instead of a clever kidnapping/ransom story, we find out in the end that the girl Bunny never really WAS kidnapped. What?!? Jeff Bridge's character, also named Jeff, or the "Dude" (oh, god) goes through the movie trying to save another man named Lebowski's slutty, porno-star wife (Tara Reid)and gets his ass kicked all the way. This movie sucks.

DUDE WHERES MY CAR
This movie is funny, period. Everyone I know (and like) that saw it thought it was hilarious, including me. I don't understand what people were expecting when they saw this! It was a thousand times funnier than any recent Ben Stiller "comedy". There are at least a dozen scenes that made me laugh out loud. The couple of people that actually wrote a good review for this said that it was so stupid that it was funny. Well, I don't think it was any stupider than most of the unfunny "comedies" that have come out lately...And a lot of people compared the to "Bill and Ted". Why? It was nothing like "Bill and Ted", except for maybe there were 2 male leads, like countless other buddy comedies. You people are just... WRONG!

SEX AND THE CITY
Hearing Samantha saying FABULOUS again after so long...,
I really enjoyed it!! It was like a double episode AND on the big screen!! Everything felt familiar yet a bit different since their lives have moved on and in the end it gave me a sense of closure. For me it absolutely worked. I was really hesitant after visiting IMDb but really for me it had it all - Fabulous Samantha on the west coast, happy Charlotte wife and mom, Miranda on the verge of a nervous breakdown and of course Big.. Carrie moments. And of course Carrie shoes.. In some scenes I laughed my heart out, in others I was (almost) in tears. From a summer night in the theater I am perfectly content. Thanks SaTC I got Carried away..


Ugh.

straight to lunchbox

Is a good term. Its like straight to DVD, except that in this case no one actually sees the film. They just buy the merchandise. My friend is working on 'Fast and Furious 4'
I think that is a straight to lunchbox film.
One day they might just stop making the movies and just do the merchandise.
I can see the marketing pitch in my head. Its really funny. I'm thinking board room. A couple of guys called Steve. Some graphs on how they can save money by skipping the film production part out of the film making process. Haha. Funny.

My stomach hurts

I just hopped into a very small elevator at my work. It just holds four people. I am slightly delirious from working too much and hard and also drinking too much booze last night.
Another three people were in the elevator. One man nervously said to me,
"I'm one hundred kilos" and then pointed at me obviously intending to see how heavy I was so as to calculate the likely hood of us plummeting to our death. I somehow misheard him and simply answered "Greg"
I realized when he looked at me funny he hadn't in fact asked my name. Everyone in the lift looked at me strangely. In my hungover daze I began laughing hysterically. I laughed so much tears came to my eyes and I got a sore stomach. The people in the elevator got out before me. I know they work here, but on a different floor and I have never spoken to them before.
They probably think I'm crazy now. I bet the first guy is writing a blog right now that goes: I asked a guy his weight in an elevator. He answered "Greg" and then started laughing hysterically. What a crack job.
....
....
....
....
....
A JOKE


A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.


After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.


Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!'


The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.


The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, 'Take another drink! Take another drink!!' The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.


By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.


The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender says,
'He should've quit while he was a head'

This is good stuff.