Reverse super hero/Super heroes dealing with crime in London.

I have spent most of the late half of my twenties in a bodily state of disrepair.
A combination of drinking too much, working an absolute shit load and going out to all night parties made my interest of looking after myself close to zero.
I looked normal enough to the untrained observer. Not fat or anything I mean.
This state is what I like to refer to as "the Reverse Super Hero"
This means that your costume or outfit makes you look like a normal person from the outside, but as soon as you strip off, you look like the skinny-fat, (combo skinny arms and legs with a pot belly) nerdy, computer welding, compositor geek you are. Add to that mix a pasty-ness that is unheard of in NZ and you have a lethal combination of shitness.
Its the antithesis of Clark Kent, who tries to look normal but really he is Super awesome.
I tried to look normal but really I was shit.
Anyway I have been going to the gym for a while now so things are looking up I guess. Although I can't say I'll ever be one of those "oh theres a bit of sun I'm gonna get my top off" guys.
And I don't think I'll ever be fully rid of my slight stomach bulge because I like eating and beer too much. Fuck giving up that. I'm just trying not to turn into John Goodman.
"Hey look.....Its a fat funny guy. How you going fatso? Say something funny fatty fats fat fatso."
Anyway.
I was also recently thinking about crime in London. It all seems to be little fuckwits that are under 16 doing all the stabbing/murdering and stealing. Where does this put your average crime-fighting-vigilante hero?
I mean Batman couldn't just go out and beat the shit out of kids could he?
It'd be a PR nightmare. Even if he was saving someones life after some of these little fuckwits were trying to stab them to death he'd get in trouble. I can see the headline now.
"Batman beats the shit out of five children"
With quotes from the kids parents saying stuff like.
"My little Petey was just standing there playing Knifeseys when this crazed maniac dressed as a bat swung down and punched him and his friends in the face. He is such a good boy and this happens. Whats the world coming too?"
I fear that this means that even if a science experiment is going horrible wrong right now and giving some mild mannered scientist the power to fight evil, he is never gonna do it.
He like me realizes that he'll just end up killing little fuckwit kids.
No superheros for us then.