Monday 27 July 2009

Antichrist

Ok. Lets get the torture part out of the way. Yes its kinda gross. Masturbating a penis till it comes blood after you smashed it with a log is gross. Cutting off your clit is gross. Drilling peoples legs is gross. The thing is. When your presented with these things quite clearly in front of your face, it sort of pushed through gross and into laughable. Its like your brain tells itself that there is no fucking way you'd watch this in real life so it must be a movie. So less shocking than I imagined. And pointless. And it just makes me think Von Trier is a bigger twat head than I already thought he was.
Aside from that, once you remove that stuff, well its boring. Its shot like an expensive commercial for banking or insurance. Which is crap. Remove the penetration shot from the shitty black and white prologue at the start and place an insurance logo at the end of it and you have an ad for accident insurance.
I pretty much absolutely hated how this film was shot. Hated it. Von Triers style smells so badly of intellectual, university, film studying cunt face.
It doesn't feel natural. As far as I see it he is a studied film maker and not one with any natural talent. Like Kevin Smith, but more of a cunt.
I liked the animals in it though.
Willem Dafoe comes across this doe in the forest with a half born baby deer hanging out its deer vagina. That was sort of good horror fair, as was the fox eating itself. The rest of it was crap though. He has tried to do that deep, resonating Lynch thing with sound, but he even fails at that.
The girl in it is so fucking annoying as well. She says all her lines in a whisper, because apprently depressed people whisper all the time.
Maybe he made her whisper on purpose so that people watching would hate women even more. Because the movie did seem like it wanted you to hate women. Anyway I'm sure there is plenty of other reviews about all that. All I'm gonna tell you is its pretty boring, and unless you have a need to see genital violence, I wouldn't bother with it.
Its not scary AT ALL. Its message seems to be a hatred of women and even if that's not what he is saying, that's what everyone thinks it is. And its Obnoxious. If you want a good torture film, watch Takashi Miikes film Audition.
In fact to save yourself watching it, imagine a slow motion shot of a penis going into a vagina and then watch this ad. That's Antichrist.

1 comment:

brett said...

awesome review g.
I never realised how those national bank ads are totally imitating like an art house cliché. As though the 'creative' would have said: "Hey guys, what we're looking for is something 'bleeding edge', 'sexy' and 'arthouse'."

What a bunch of dicks. - Ad executives and Lars Von, not us.

John k (who created ren and stimpy) has a pretty awesome blog and this is a very funny entry you might like:
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2009/07/ideas-arenas-modern-way-to-write.html