Antichrist

Ok. Lets get the torture part out of the way. Yes its kinda gross. Masturbating a penis till it comes blood after you smashed it with a log is gross. Cutting off your clit is gross. Drilling peoples legs is gross. The thing is. When your presented with these things quite clearly in front of your face, it sort of pushed through gross and into laughable. Its like your brain tells itself that there is no fucking way you'd watch this in real life so it must be a movie. So less shocking than I imagined. And pointless. And it just makes me think Von Trier is a bigger twat head than I already thought he was.
Aside from that, once you remove that stuff, well its boring. Its shot like an expensive commercial for banking or insurance. Which is crap. Remove the penetration shot from the shitty black and white prologue at the start and place an insurance logo at the end of it and you have an ad for accident insurance.
I pretty much absolutely hated how this film was shot. Hated it. Von Triers style smells so badly of intellectual, university, film studying cunt face.
It doesn't feel natural. As far as I see it he is a studied film maker and not one with any natural talent. Like Kevin Smith, but more of a cunt.
I liked the animals in it though.
Willem Dafoe comes across this doe in the forest with a half born baby deer hanging out its deer vagina. That was sort of good horror fair, as was the fox eating itself. The rest of it was crap though. He has tried to do that deep, resonating Lynch thing with sound, but he even fails at that.
The girl in it is so fucking annoying as well. She says all her lines in a whisper, because apprently depressed people whisper all the time.
Maybe he made her whisper on purpose so that people watching would hate women even more. Because the movie did seem like it wanted you to hate women. Anyway I'm sure there is plenty of other reviews about all that. All I'm gonna tell you is its pretty boring, and unless you have a need to see genital violence, I wouldn't bother with it.
Its not scary AT ALL. Its message seems to be a hatred of women and even if that's not what he is saying, that's what everyone thinks it is. And its Obnoxious. If you want a good torture film, watch Takashi Miikes film Audition.
In fact to save yourself watching it, imagine a slow motion shot of a penis going into a vagina and then watch this ad. That's Antichrist.

Drag me to Hell is good.

Go and see it.

The Hangover.

What a fucken pile of shit. I Laughed as much in this film as I laughed in the Deer Hunter. Which obviously was sweet fuck all.
The Hangovers poster has fucking stars all over it as well. Its the most star filled poster I have ever seen. The Poster makes you think its the best film ever made.
Don't you hate how movie posters now all have stars on them. Usually 4 or 5.
Well it's bullshit for two reasons.
1: Most reviewers are people. And people have shit taste. See Titanic and The Hangover as an example.
2: What you see on the poster probably isn't the opinion of a reviewer anyway, but a newspaper or publication getting free advertising on said movie poster.
Example: A wee while ago I was reading a discarded news of the world paper on the tube. Reputable rag that.
There was a review on Transformers 2 in there. It basically said it was the worst movie ever and gave it half a star. I put down the paper, got off the tube and walked past a man pasting up a Transformers 2 poster. Across the top it said. 4 stars: News of the world.
Aside from that. Why the fuck brag about 4 stars anyway. That's like saying, "Wow look at me I'm just above average."
Great.